Today has been an interesting day for questions and comments from my dear son, David. He has caught me off guard a few times today with the things he has come up with.
While on our way to church, we were passing the turn off for our old house. Dave, from the backseat suddenly spoke up. “Daddy, I miss our old house. When mommy stops being rude, can we live there together again?” Well, I was speechless for about 30 seconds, trying to come up with a politic way of answering his innocent question. Finally I told him, “No baby, we won’t be living together again. Choices have been made that makes that impossible. You will still spend time with mommy and I, we just won’t do it together anymore.” Normally, when answering these questions, I feel a certain level of disgust and ire towards their mother. Today when he asked, I didn’t feel that. I just felt confidence in what I was saying and love for these two amazing gifts from God.
So, we continued on our way to church. The service was a good one and the kids had fun. Rose was in the mood to be held and wanted kisses. I definitely won’t refuse her those. When they released the children to go to children’s church, my buddy and I patrolled the parking lot.
After church, the three of us continued our Sunday ritual by visiting McDonald’s. We had our lunch and then I let the kids play for half an hour. While they were playing in the play place, Dave struck up a conversation with a little blond girl. (Yep, he loves blondes.) They were talking about their families. The little girl telling Dave about her siblings and that her Daddy had just come home two days ago (I’m guessing e was deployed.). Dave pointed at Rosie and said that was her sister, he pointed out our car in the parking lot and then he said, “My daddy’s in the Army and my mommy is in trouble.” Kids definitely say some of the darnedest things.
I haven’t brought this up with him. I think he believed he was having a private conversation. I was, in fact, eavesdropping, because I was listening to him and Rose for any issues. It made me pause and think. Apparently my son is highly observant. He definitely knows there are issues between his parents. I’m saddened that Rose and Dave have to be effected by their Mother’s poor decisions and my legal responses to them. They deserve to grow up in a happy home. I am doing my best each day to ensure that they have that here with me. It’s not always easy, but nothing that is rewarding ever is.
As I was writing this, Dave came over to me to ask me what I was doing and then just threw his arms around my neck and gave me a kiss. I love these little wild people. I am going to continue to fight for what is best for them everyday. I’ve recently tried to engage their mother in discussion as to visitation again. She keeps giving me excuses that her vehicle is inoperable, she doesn’t have the money to make the trip and her work schedule isn’t very flexible. Call me crazy, but that sounds like exactly what they are, excuses. I am a full time, active duty soldier in one of the most operationally active units in the military and I have still managed to put Rose and Dave first. I make the time, My unit having the understanding that the army is no longer my first priority and that it will always come second to Rose and Dave. They can do what they have to, but I won’t budge on this principle.
Anyway, it is time to get some house cleaning done. The kids have tomorrow off from school. I sure wish I could take tomorrow off from work and spend it with them. Yesterday, we went to the fair and had a blast. We hung out with our roommate and one of my closest friends. They had so much fun and we rode almost every ride. We were there for about 4 hours, running around seeing the sights and riding the rides. We have some pretty epic weekends. I’ll post a few photos of our fun. Take it easy, dear reader.