[[Sends M a pic of a hearing notification in AL for her ridiculous restraining order]]
Me: Are we going to end this nonsense already?
M: Idk what it is.
Me: Uh, hearing for the ridiculous PFA on the 12th
M: I didnt know anything abt it til now. But, youre the one keeps putting it off by not showing and having your lawyer have it continued. I always go.
M: So, if you want it dropped, either show up or have your lawyer represent you. It woulda been dropped in dec if you hadnt lied and said you were ncoic of rear d
Me: They never schedule it when I am actually off. The question is, are you going to end it? I don’t “harass” or “threaten” you. And yes, I was the Rear D NCOIC. Chosen by the CSM himself.
Me: You assume I lie about that, but no, I really was. Even says it on my NCOER.
M: Its EASY for you to get a pass. And if you want it dropped, show up. Otherwise, unless its abt my kids, stop harrassing me, now. Meaning: shut up & leave be
M: Whatever helps you sleep at night, now, BACK OFF.
Me: Lol. Good night
M: Look, chris, im already agitated today. I dont need your pestering on another holiday like youve been doing each & every one of them. So, just leave go.
Me: He just spent 30 minutes crying before you called. He said he was sad and mad at you. You’ll probably think I’m making this up, so, believe what you want.
M: Its okay. I understand more than you realize. But, everything is gonna be alright. Believe what you want, but itll all come together in time and be alright.
Me: Morgan, I don’t believe anything. I know that our son misses you, that he has been acting out because he misses you. I know that he sat in the backseat as we drove home from his birthday party crying because you weren’t there and you haven’t even sent a birthday card. I know that with the domestic violence police report against you, you will never be their primary guardian again. He is sad. He misses you.
A little back story would help, I suppose. For a while now, and especially since his birthday, Dave has been having behavioral issues. He is mean to his sister, rude to adults and fails to obey in school quite a bit. His therapist says that it is his way of coping. His acting up and acting out is his defiance to the way life has turned out. He is no longer the favorite, he is no longer lavished with attention and allowed to do as he pleases. This does not mean that he is being ignored, or that his sister is treated as a favorite. It means that he actually has a parent that forces him to share attention with his sister. That he is held to a standard that when he fails to meet it, he faces punitive action.
Tonight he finally poured his heart out. He got caught being disrespectful and rude and was instructed to park himself in the corner until he could adjust his attitude. Obviously, this involved a lot of drama and tears from him. When he finally settled down, I called him into the kitchen where I was making dinner, set him on the counter and had a very frank discussion with him. I told him that I wanted to know why he thought it was okay to act this way, what he was mad, upset, or sad about. After some poking and prodding, he broke down into tears and told me that he missed his mother, that he was sad and mad that she hadn’t been there for his birthday. He is a bit perturbed that he hasn’t received anything from her. I can almost agree there. It has been more than two weeks and his mother hasn’t even bothered to send him a birthday card, no matter what her excuses are every time he asks.
Our little boy his hurting. That is plain to see for all that take a look. He is not himself, and a lot has to do with his mother. Honestly, I think she is hopeless at this point. Maybe I am wrong in the way I read her response, but it seems as if she has delusions that she will get them back. Her own actions will prevent that. Shall we make a list?
- She has not visited with our children since the week of Oct 17th, 2o12, the week of our failed custody trial.
- I have attempted to entreat her to schedule a visitation hearing on numerous occasions so that at the very least, our children would get to see there mother. As of this date, no such hearing has been scheduled.
- As of Nov 30, 2012, she was ordered to pay a child support in the amount of $189.00 a month. Want to guess how many child support checks have been received? A whopping total of 1. And it was sent by the state of North Carolina. Any from their mother? Nope. None. Nada. Zilch.
There are several more reasons, but honestly, I’m just not going to go into them right now. I just want to relax, wait until Archer comes on and then go to bed. I will be perfectly happy when the divorce is finalized (hopefully sometime in the very near future) and we have a date for the custody trial. Whatever she has cooked up is going to be a massive failure. Did I mention I have that pain in the ass police report where she was cited for domestic violence and harassment of the guy she left me for? The irony is simply amazing.
Anyway, my dear reader, digital journal, silent confidante, I am going to go for now. I am on the verge of just wanting to crawl in bed and pass out for the night. Some nights are more challenging than others. Tomorrow is another day and we will survive it together. Good night, God bless.
So, M called at her usual time at 7. I answered the call and put it on speaker for Rose. Rose immediately yells, “No! Mom, I hate you! I don’t want to talk to you! Go away!”
Mildly awkward to listen to.