The Ramblings of a Mad Man

Posts tagged “custody

Consent Order: Permanent Custody Order

It’s been a long time coming, but it’s finally here. A long and drawn out fight, built up to a boiling point, ended with a whimper and a proposed final order. Basically, all she wanted was visitation and to not pay child support. Seeing as she hasn’t provided any type of financial support since I got custody last May, or since she was actually ordered to in November 2012, that wasn’t really a sticking point for me.

The only amusing thing is that she has apparently unblocked me on Facebook. And I have read her “Notes”. It is astonishing at how self deluded one person can be.

“You father has admitted to me that he’s hurting you guys, but he’s blaming me for it. I have that text message. “

The case is over, said and done, but let me make this point. I have every text message, phone call, and email between us since 2011. This is referred to as a “evidence.” I am highly tempted to unleash all of it. I also have copies of the DSS documents, where medical professionals have viewed her mistreatment of our children. Anytime she wants to feel froggy, I can also unleash her own arrest record from the state of Alabama. Yes, I have all of that too.

I am irritated. I’ll just chill for now. The kids will be home in a couple of days and we will get back to normal. I’m sure there will be an adjustment period after they come home. There always is after they have spent any time with her. We’ll get calmed down. Back to our routine of school and work, ballet and fitness.

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Fakes or Idiots: Replies from the Blogosphere

Did you ever notice that 9 out of 10 replies on posts either come from bots or stupid people?

Seriously, I’m not going to approve your neo-nazi diatribes or your idiotic comments. By the way, another quick way to have your comment flagged is idiotic grammar. You may think you’ve come to know me through this blog, but you are still far off base. There is a lot I don’t share. Hell, since my life has straightened itself out, I barely make my way into the world of WordPress.

Allow me to share one such moronic comment. I can’t even catch the drift of what is being said due to lack of punctuation and meandering through ideas.

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Wtf does that even mean?

Another little gem:

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Why is eugenics such a bad idea? Seriously, we could breed out stupidity!


Self Denial or Delusional?

[[Sends M a pic of a hearing notification in AL for her ridiculous restraining order]]

Me: Are we going to end this nonsense already?

M: Idk what it is.
Me: Uh, hearing for the ridiculous PFA on the 12th
M: I didnt know anything abt it til now. But, youre the one keeps putting it off by not showing and having your lawyer have it continued. I always go.
M: So, if you want it dropped, either show up or have your lawyer represent you. It woulda been dropped in dec if you hadnt lied and said you were ncoic of rear d
Me: They never schedule it when I am actually off. The question is, are you going to end it? I don’t “harass” or “threaten” you. And yes, I was the Rear D NCOIC. Chosen by the CSM himself.
Me: You assume I lie about that, but no, I really was. Even says it on my NCOER.
M: Its EASY for you to get a pass. And if you want it dropped, show up. Otherwise, unless its abt my kids, stop harrassing me, now. Meaning: shut up & leave be
M: Whatever helps you sleep at night, now, BACK OFF.
Me: Lol. Good night
M: Look, chris, im already agitated today. I dont need your pestering on another holiday like youve been doing each & every one of them. So, just leave go.


One of Those Nights

Me: He just spent 30 minutes crying before you called. He said he was sad and mad at you. You’ll probably think I’m making this up, so, believe what you want.

 
M: Its okay. I understand more than you realize. But, everything is gonna be alright. Believe what you want, but itll all come together in time and be alright.

 
Me: Morgan, I don’t believe anything. I know that our son misses you, that he has been acting out because he misses you. I know that he sat in the backseat as we drove home from his birthday party crying because you weren’t there and you haven’t even sent a birthday card. I know that with the domestic violence police report against you, you will never be their primary guardian again. He is sad. He misses you.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

A little back story would help, I suppose. For a while now, and especially since his birthday, Dave has been having behavioral issues. He is mean to his sister, rude to adults and fails to obey in school quite a bit. His therapist says that it is his way of coping. His acting up and acting out is his defiance to the way life has turned out. He is no longer the favorite, he is no longer lavished with attention and allowed to do as he pleases. This does not mean that he is being ignored, or that his sister is treated as a favorite. It means that he actually has a parent that forces him to share attention with his sister. That he is held to a standard that when he fails to meet it, he faces punitive action.

 

Tonight he finally poured his heart out. He got caught being disrespectful and rude and was instructed to park himself in the corner until he could adjust his attitude. Obviously, this involved a lot of drama and tears from him. When he finally settled down, I called him into the kitchen where I was making dinner, set him on the counter and had a very frank discussion with him. I told him that I wanted to know why he thought it was okay to act this way, what he was mad, upset, or sad about. After some poking and prodding, he broke down into tears and told me that he missed his mother, that he was sad and mad that she hadn’t been there for his birthday. He is a bit perturbed that he hasn’t received anything from her. I can almost agree there. It has been more than two weeks and his mother hasn’t even bothered to send him a birthday card, no matter what her excuses are every time he asks.

 

Our little boy his hurting. That is plain to see for all that take a look. He is not himself, and a lot has to do with his mother. Honestly, I think she is hopeless at this point. Maybe I am wrong in the way I read her response, but it seems as if she has delusions that she will get them back. Her own actions will prevent that. Shall we make a list?

 

  1. She has not visited with our children since the week of Oct 17th, 2o12, the week of our failed custody trial.
  2. I have attempted to entreat her to schedule a visitation hearing on numerous occasions so that at the very least, our children would get to see there mother. As of this date, no such hearing has been scheduled.
  3. As of Nov 30, 2012, she was ordered to pay a child support in the amount of $189.00 a month. Want to guess how many child support checks have been received? A whopping total of 1. And it was sent by the state of North Carolina. Any from their mother? Nope. None. Nada. Zilch.

 

There are several more reasons, but honestly, I’m just not going to go into them right now. I just want to relax, wait until Archer comes on and then go to bed. I will be perfectly happy when the divorce is finalized (hopefully sometime in the very near future) and we have a date for the custody trial. Whatever she has cooked up is going to be a massive failure. Did I mention I have that pain in the ass police report where she was cited for domestic violence and harassment of the guy she left me for? The irony is simply amazing.

 

Anyway, my dear reader, digital journal, silent confidante, I am going to go for now. I am on the verge of just wanting to crawl in bed and pass out for the night. Some nights are more challenging than others. Tomorrow is another day and we will survive it together. Good night, God bless.

 

Ta ta.

 


Awkward…

So, M called at her usual time at 7. I answered the call and put it on speaker for Rose. Rose immediately yells, “No! Mom, I hate you! I don’t want to talk to you! Go away!”

 

Mildly awkward to listen to.


Just Another Day…

M: I cant make it up for thanksgiving. Theyre demanding i work that day and i cant get off. But i will be up for christmas.

Me: And to think, you could have had them for thanksgiving and a week at Christmas.

M: Look, chris, i work a civilian job, unlike you, i cant take paid time off. And unlike you if i dont do as my boss says, i get fired.

Me: Whatever, dude. They won’t notice.

M: You could bring them to me, so they can spend it with me, i know you have the time off.

Me: At this point, since you have been unwilling to come to an agreement with me, I’ll do what the court orders. I am done trying to accommodate you.

M: I dont want to hear you get preachy about coparenting anymore. If youll recall, I SIGNED YOUR AGREEMENT, you did not. Youre only interested in your wants, not

Me: No, I am interested in their welfare, which you continue to prove that you are not. Disrupting their routine, selfish and you know it. All you had to do was remove that one portion and we would have had an agreement. You CHOSE to leave without doing so. YOU are the selfish one Morgan. Good night.

M: Not at all in theirs. And you say im selfish? You have the time off and are unwilling to cooperate at all. Youre not interested in “coparenting” at all.

Me: I am not interested in providing for you when every goddamned time I have tried coming to an agreement with you, you have put bullshit limitations and additions into it. So, when you are ready to get a visitation hearing, I’ll be there with these messages. If they mattered to you, a fucking job wouldn’t keep you from them. Simple as that. Good night.

Just in case anyone missed it, I am done trying to do anything for her. I have tried on multiple occasions to get a visitation schedule set, and this is how she wants to go about it? Screw that. They are happy, healthy and where they belong. Enough said.


Some things never change

Me: May I make a suggestion? You have until February before I can file. Get your hip fixed.
M: Why are you suddenly worried about my hip…?
Me: Honestly, I have thought about it several times. I am surprised you haven’t done it yet.
M: Ive just been waiting for my insurance to kick in.

Me: Tonight, after talking to you, I decided I don’t hate you anymore and I really do hope we can be amicable and working co-parents in their continued development.

Me: You still have Tricare. It won’t cost you any co-pays.

M: Neither will mine. With my work i have full benefits. And i stopped hating you months ago. Its not easy to do, its easier to hate, but its not healthy.

Me: I don’t hate you Morgan. I am at a point where I still get exasperated by your actions, but mostly I just feel sad that you are unwilling to talk with me in a rational manner about what is best for our children.

M: Because we always fight and im sick of fighting.

Me: And I haven’t tried fighting with you, Morgan. I have remained calm even when you start ranting at me. (I.e., visiting at the coffee scene, the whole visitation snafu on the 17th). I am done fighting with you. I pay a lawyer thousands to do that for me. My only priority is the safety, health and happiness of our children, Morgan. They are safe, they are healthy and they are happy. They miss you and I want them to spend time with you, but until we have an order signed by a judge, you give me no reason to trust you. Your lawyer received a schedule that saw you spending 90% of their school breaks with them. When I had an issue with 1 item on your lawyer’s proposal, you claim I “threw it in your lawyer’s face.” I simply told her that it would not work as it stood with that last sentence on there. Had she simply scratched that, we would have a signed visitation agreement.

Me: There is no sense in fighting about something that has already expired. And maybe it was just the damned lawyers looking for a reason to charge us more money.

M: Lawyers are greedy bastards, but its the way of human. Look, im going to bed. I have to be up at 415 to get ready for work. Kiss my babies for me. Good night.

Me: Morgan, we need to come to an agreement on visitation for Rose and Dave. They deserve that.

Me: You’ll receive a recommendation from me through the lawyers.

M: Chris, i had no problem with the one suggessted. All i wanted was to be allowed to take my kids to school and you couldnt even allow me-or them-that small thing

Me: I am not going to give you my reasoning again. You know our daughter as well as I do and you know how throwing her off her routine effects her.

M: Good night, im finished talking to you for now. Please do not text me again tonight unless theres and emergency w/ ro or dave or unless 1 of them wants to call.

Because when she knows I am right, suddenly I am “harassing” her. I really do pity her at this point. She can’t get past herself for our children. That’s just sad. Why do I even bother anymore? Maybe because our son and daughter asked to see their mother today and I had to explain to them that she was in a different state.