Do you ever find yourself at a loss for words? Not really sure of what you want to say or how you want to say it? That seems to be the reoccurring theme for this weekend, for me. I don’t quite understand my own thoughts and emotions as of the past few days. They are a boiling cauldron of mixed feelings in regards to every aspect of my life. I have a lot of pokers in the fire and I have no oven mitts. No matter what I do, I am going to get burned.
My posts have been gaining more and more space between them. I don’t really write anything of substance anymore. I can still find a theme on which to write, but the real thoughts in my head aren’t willing to be put down on the electronic page. Well, that and a lot of them can be considered “disparaging remarks” towards the future ex-wife. Obviously, I must refrain from sharing my thoughts and feelings on that subject because it would be in violation of the custody order, and even though it is all true, she would consider it “harassment.” Whether or not she has found my little exercise in therapy through writing, I neither know nor care. I am sure someone has shared the link with her.
There are things that I want to talk about, but due to a little life OPSEC, I still have to hang on to those topics. It’s a pain in the ass when I want to write, but I have to hold back on everything I am saying because it is either protecting myself or someone else. There are subjects that I am rearing to blast out there into cyberspace, just to get them out of my head. I guess that somewhat explains some of the frustrations and aggravations I am feeling this weekend.
I am ready to be done with her. I no longer want to be looking over my shoulder to see what kind of trick she is trying to pull next. In what way she plans on betraying me this time. She’s become quite adept at that. Apparently, she found her only strength in life was to screw me over. She keeps swinging and missing though. It is just a pain in the ass to deal with the side effects of her games. Enough said on that topic. All true, but I dare say, some twit might get on their high horse and need to get knocked off again if I continue.
I am just amusing myself now. This blog post basically says nothing. It might hint that I am frustrated, aggravated, annoyed, angry, and a bit moody. That’s about all it points to at this point. Let’s move on to a more pleasant topic, shall we?
The kids and I had a pleasant weekend. Yesterday we went to the park and played for a few hours. To make them happy, and to reward them for being fairly well behaved, we made a stop at the shoppette before heading on to the park. The kids have fallen in love with icees/slushees. Rose sticks with the old standard of Coke, while Dave likes to venture into the other flavors. Yesterday his was some type of orange sherbert tasting thing. They were pleased and had something cool to sip on as we made our way to the park. As soon as we got there, they were pouncing out of the car and headed at full steam to the playground. They had a blast and I just let them play. It is always fun to watch them and see where their minds take them. Rose seems like she is drinking from the over stimulation fire hose when she is there. Like a hummingbird, she flits from one feature to another, never quite settling on one thing for long. Dave kept climbing the rock wall and then he and I got on the swing for a little bit.
I could tell when Rose was getting hot and ready to go. She found a little bench in the shade of the slides and pulled her dolls out of her purse. Dave kept going at full throttle until he was drenched in sweat. We were there for a little over an hour when I finally rounded them up and headed for home. I used my new tactic to get them to leave peacefully, I told them we were going home to go swimming. When we got home, I made them lunch and had them relax and cool down for a bit before we headed to the pool. Dave and I have been working on his swimming. I had him practice for a little while in the shallow end. We weren’t at the pool long before it started to rain, so I had to gather them up once again and head home. They took turns showering and then they played happily together. I folded clothes and cleaned up a bit while watching “Hell on Wheels” on Netflix. It was a relaxing Saturday.
Today we didn’t do much of anything. We all slept in until 10. Rose woke me up first and Dave soon followed. I got up and made them cinnamon buns for breakfast. After finishing breakfast, they hopped into their bathing suits and we headed to the pool for a little while. They played and I read while keeping an eye on them. We came home for lunch and a little down time. Around 1600hrs (EST), we headed back to the pool for another hour. I got in the pool with them and played. Dave and I worked on his swimming some more. By the time we were ready to leave, I had Dave swimming the width of the pool in the deep end. He is doing quite well with it. He stays calm and is slowly learning that it takes coordination to get a good, fluid stroke.
That was our weekend. It wasn’t anything spectacular, but it was what I needed after my work week. The kids seemed to enjoy themselves. I am ready to get some rack now, dear reader. I hope you all sleep well tonight. We’ll see how it goes for me. I have my interview tomorrow morning for my new job. Wish me luck. Once I know it has been locked in for sure, I might say a little more about it. For now, what I said a few days ago is enough. Take care, good night and good luck.